i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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