I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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