i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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