I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize