They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
