I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
