Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize