I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
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he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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