She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
