Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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