It's like God shit irony all over that family
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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