I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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