That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
