you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
