he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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