you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
