We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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