he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
