I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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