I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
