just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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