Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her