Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.

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  (405): I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/im6u
  Replies (43) Good night (4702) Bad night (895)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.

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  (502): i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower. http://tfl.nu/fhy8
  Replies (8) Good night (751) Bad night (3838)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (2004) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots

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  (905): Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots http://tfl.nu/aobh
  Replies (14) Good night (2940) Bad night (1884)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.

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  (336): I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/vg1w
  Replies (10) Good night (2865) Bad night (1130)
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  (925): View more from California

  it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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  (925): it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/nvwn
  Replies (10) Good night (1309) Bad night (2004)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show

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  (512): I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show http://tfl.nu/tn7s
  Replies (6) Good night (2408) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.

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  (202): I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/7w7n
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (1424)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.

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  (856): Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox. http://tfl.nu/almc
  Replies (18) Good night (2081) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!

  (720): View more from Colorado

  True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.

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  (707): Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas! (720): True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place. http://tfl.nu/87wy
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.

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  (541): Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity. http://tfl.nu/lznq
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time

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  (306): I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time http://tfl.nu/lht5
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"

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  (608): You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?" http://tfl.nu/g9qb
  Replies (0) Good night (670) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb

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  (717): Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb http://tfl.nu/ag2r
  Replies (0) Good night (424) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.

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  (713): Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house. http://tfl.nu/zc0g
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (283)

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