did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?