FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard