Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

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  (949): who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool http://tfl.nu/a4ly
  Replies (7) Good night (1230) Bad night (1776)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's always exciting to touch a new boob.

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  (814): It's always exciting to touch a new boob. http://tfl.nu/e374
  Replies (12) Good night (6721) Bad night (714)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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  (403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like. http://tfl.nu/sasf
  Replies (25) Good night (9371) Bad night (1035)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.

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  (845): I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day. http://tfl.nu/52wz
  Replies (14) Good night (4290) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.

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  (540): Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them. http://tfl.nu/zz58
  Replies (7) Good night (1060) Bad night (2167)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.

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  (727): Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today. http://tfl.nu/0xc9
  Replies (5) Good night (1550) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang

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  (412): I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang http://tfl.nu/dtxk
  Replies (20) Good night (2003) Bad night (744)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.

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  (856): I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help. http://tfl.nu/4hfj
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (1461)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.

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  (860): The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop. http://tfl.nu/d7w3
  Replies (3) Good night (3146) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.

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  (989): It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/f9iv
  Replies (12) Good night (1054) Bad night (650)
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  (716): View more from New York

  What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?

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  (716): What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ? http://tfl.nu/ajxd
  Replies (27) Good night (910) Bad night (551)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.

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  (410): It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station. http://tfl.nu/qovz
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....

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  (253): Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse.... http://tfl.nu/k31y
  Replies (6) Good night (751) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work

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  (412): the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work http://tfl.nu/2wj1
  Replies (12) Good night (1556) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again

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  (513): It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again http://tfl.nu/339h
  Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (243)

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