What a fucking waste of an outfit
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?