i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
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I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.