At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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