She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize