That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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