They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize