the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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