sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?