once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID