Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
