Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I want to be your penis for a week.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
