I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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