another moral hangover. fuck.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
