I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
