I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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