Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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