just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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