so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
