Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
