Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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