Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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