so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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