i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
