it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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