Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
