I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
