dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
