i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
