Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
