So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
