shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
