i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I could fuck to npr.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
