Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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