I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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