why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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