just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize