I think i peed on brittanys purse
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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