its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
