His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
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I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
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Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.