3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.