found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
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You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous